Loving Somebody Who Attacks You

From an article about Paradox in Wikipedia:

… it may be considered that an ethical admonition to “love thy neighbour” is not just in contrast with, but in contradiction to an armed neighbour actively trying to kill you: if he or she succeeds, you will not be able to love him or her. But to preemptively attack them or [even just] restrain them is not usually understood as loving. This might be termed an ethical dilemma.

I’ve been there. It isn’t pretty. And I never know what I should do to make things better.

Or just to be able to love properly.

And no, Tit for tat doesn’t work.

Refresh Your Mind

Overheard from Assaf:

… every once in a while, we need to step back, forget all that we believe is true, and look at the situation with a fresh eye and an open mind. To judge that which is true now.

Although in the original context Assaf was talking about Java. I think, seriously, this applies to almost everything.

The world isn’t fixed. It’s not even “expanding.” It’s a constant creation-destruction-recreation, continuously (until the time comes for the final destruction.)

That’s why we have to constantly refresh our mind. For the better, of course.

Learn continuously. For when we have stopped doing so, we’ll be no less than merely breathing flesh.

Talking and Chewing Gum Improves Ear Health

Overheard from Wikipedia:

Excessive cerumen may impede the passage of sound in the ear canal, causing conductive hearing loss. It is also estimated to be the cause of 60 – 80% of hearing aid repairs. As mentioned above, movement of the jaw helps the ears’ natural cleaning process, so chewing gum and talking can both help. If this is insufficient, the most common method of cerumen removal by general practitioners is syringing (used by 95% of GPs). A curette method is more likely to be used by otologists and ENTs when the ear canal is partially occluded and the material is not adhering to the skin of the ear canal.

I never thought that, hello, talking and chewing gum would actually be beneficial to our health. Or at least our ears’ health.

The more we know, the more we know there are lots more things we didn’t know, and potentially will never know.

My Dream Car

Alright… I’m not getting hold of it anytime soon. But one day, I’m seriously gonna get something like this: (and it has to be black.)

Yup, a Honda Civic subcompact sedan. The cheaper (but new) ones cost around $20,000 here in Indonesia.

My friend thought that Toyota Vios looks cooler. It turns out, I have to agree that, well, Vios is highly tempting with the whole package. πŸ˜‰

Alright, alright, nothing else to see here. Get back to your seats, guys! πŸ™‚

Raelians Are Fun!

Ever heard of the Raelian religion?

For those of you who don’t know, the Raelians are an organization β€” some would say β€œalien sex cult” β€” that believes in scientific creationism β€” that β€œaliens” came to this planet and manipulated primitive DNA in order to create humans. In 1973, French journalist Claude Vorilhon (who now goes by β€œRael”) was contacted by a small alien being who told him that their race, the Elohim (β€œthose who came from the sky”, as described in Genesis), had been the ones who had created human life on Earth, and that mankind had mistaken them for gods and built religions around them. Because of the moon landing, they felt we were mature enough to hear the truth, and dictated the Raelian message.

Boring stuff, eh? By the way, I’m not preaching them! I just want to let you know that Raelians really know how to have fun! Check these out:


Now there you know a bit why some people like to call Raelian an “alien sex cult.” A seriously wonderful world, ain’t it? πŸ˜‰

Source: all over the Big Huge Net, although you might wanna check this out. (maybe here too) πŸ˜‰

UPDATE: A BIG thanks to Bernie of PlancksConstant.org for linking to this post. I’ve been a big fan of Bernie’s site for quite some time. πŸ™‚

This Has Got To Be It!

I’ve been wondering for the past 2-3 years whether my experience, which was diagnosed by my psychiatric doctor, Dr. Kabul Budianto, as affective schizophrenia, were simply that (psychotic state, delusions, etc.) or there’s more to it… spiritually?

I’ve also been increasingly thinking that these guys “don’t know nothing” about my condition. Be them doctors, Ph.D.’s, or whatever! Much less my friends, my loved ones, and even my religious teachers.

One of the comments about the book The Kundalini Experience: Psychosis or Transcendence, states:

“I recommend this as an intro into the understanding of what Grof and Grof have dubbed “spiritual emergence,” an increasingly common pattern of psychobiological activity often misdiagnosed as psychotic. — Craig Chalquist, M.S., creator of the Thineownself self-exploration site.

Many other comments express similar agreement, as also seemingly the contents of this book.

Moreover, an independent Psychedelics survey (psychedelics are drugs used to induce, among others, hallucinations) reports enlightening results (at least for me):


I.Physiological level

A. Motor
1. Spontaneous performance of asanas (postures) even if the aspirant knows no Hatha yoga. (@,#)
2. Spontaneous twisting and/or revolving of the body and limbs, dance-like gestures. (#)
3. Spontaneous movement of hands in formal Indian dance patterns. (#)
*4. Trembling of the body (#)

B. Non-Motor
*1. Sensations of heat or cold. (@),(#) 2. Constriction of breathing. (#)
3. Automatic breathing of various kinds. Temporary stoppage of breath. (@)
*4. Spontaneous laughter, tears of joy (@); automatic/involuntary laughing or crying. (#)
*5. Creeping sensations in the spine (#)
*6. Tingling sensations through the body. (#) Itching or crawling sensations under the skin. (@)
*7. Alterations in sexual desire (usually decreased)

II. Sensory (Special Senses)

*1. Sensory hallucinations: audio, visual, taste and smell.(@)
*2. Audio hallucinations: humming, rushing water, tinkling, bell sounds, etc. (#)
*3. Closed-eye perceptions: dots, lights, flames, geometrical shapes, pure white light. These may be perceived as visions of saints or deities. (#)
4. Utterances of deformed sounds. (@) Spontaneous chanting, singing or vocal noises. (#)
5. Feelings that the body has become extremely huge or small (anima) (#)

III. Emotional

*1. Extreme feelings of ecstasy and divine bliss. (@)
*2. Extreme feelings of fear. (@)
*3. Enhanced sense of empathy
*4. Loss or dissociation of emotions

IV. Cognitive/Spiritual

*1. Recall past lives. (@)
*2. Enhanced intuition and psychic powers (siddhis). (@)
*3. Feelings of unseen guidance and protection. (@)
*4. Emptying of the mind. (#)
*5. There is an experience of being a witness in the body.(#)
*6. Questions may arise in the mind and be spontaneously answered (revelation or enhanced insight). (#)
*7. The hidden meaning behind the (Indian) scriptures are revealed. (@)
*8. Mystical experience

Table 1: List of Effects of Awakened Kundalini. Note; (*) lines of the list are attributes identified in the psychedelic drug survey. Lines marked (@) are from [2] and lines marked (#) are from [3].

Most, if not all, of the effects described above are true in my personal experience. Which makes me wonder, have I had awakened my “kundalini”? (or whatever, more generally called self-realization)

Note that when I experienced it, I did not use any psychedelic drugs whatsoever. It came naturally, and immediately. And I hadn’t even felt any depression, as most people accused me of, including Dr. Kabul, my psychiatrist.

The effects were so great though, as I immediately were instituted into a mental facility after a week or so in that state. I recovered very quickly, less than a week. About a year later though, I experienced (I guess) the same thing, and I was instituted again.

The question remains, what will I make out of it?

Update: Overheard from kundalini-support.com: (emphasis mine)

I required anti-psychotic medication to allow my brain and nervous system to rest and heal. Sadly, these medications probably cause physical damage to dopamine receptors. Martinus in his books also mentions the dangers of certain kundalini awakenings.

This is exactly also what I thought! That’s why I was so reluctant to use medication! But I loved my mother, and I didn’t really want to go back into that state where my mother sat beside me, crying, having that look that really destroyed my heart, and I only said (I was tied up on the mental insitution’s bed): “Mom, it’s alright. I’m fine. Why are you crying? I love you so much.” I also told her that Jesus will protect her, protect me, and all of us; although I am a muslim and I was aware of that fact at that time. (My mother is a Christian.)

Philanthropist Am I?

I may be too self-centric, but sometimes I think myself as a philanthropist. Not exactly, though. I’m not very fond of giving money to others, but other things, that can’t be counted, measured, or exchanged, by money.

In my mind, I like to be an altruist. At least among my friends. This has proven to be very inconvenient and unsatisfactory both for me (especially) and for others. The “I didn’t ask for your help, did I?” line in Crash definitely confirms this, and I have to realize my mistake, then do something about it.

I think I need to switch my mindset, to reciprocal altruism or Tit for tat. I’ve been doing “tit for tat” to a few people when I realize that they don’t realize that what I’m doing to them is exactly (or at least similar to) what they have been doing to me. But The Evolution of Cooperation has proven that “tit for tat” is one of the (if not the) best strategy for this problem.

Even until now, though, every strategy I used seem to be failing in many ways. I might as well just be an egoist, as many people already think of me that way.

Lex Luthor used to be somewhat altruistic and philanthropic. But his life experiences has failed him, and eventually turned him to what he becomes–vicious, ruthless, merciless criminal mastermind. It’s quite likely that I will somewhat follow Lex’s path. I hope someday I’ll be able to discuss my similarities to Lex.

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Planck’s Constant .Org

I love Planck’s Constant!

What a wonderful world Israelis have

If only you’d be very open minded… πŸ™‚

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“I Didn’t Ask for Your Help, Did I?”

Last night I watched Crash, Eel‘s favorite movie. It’s a movie about life, how we collide into other people’s lives, and how people deal with it.

Conclusion: It’s an excellent movie. Lots of magic moments in this movie (seriously! The touching, “oh-pretty-please-no” kind of scenes are there.) About 95% of the movie deals with racism, but it’s somewhat an understandable base for discussing prejudice. It happens everywhere in the real world.

My most favorite line is “I didn’t ask for your help, did I?” when a white policeman honestly tried to defend a black guy. I had lots of people saying that (indirectly) to me. It’s very true, an unfortunate truth. πŸ™

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