How to Find The Woman of Your Dreams

How to Find The Woman of Your Dreams

Keep knowing people.

I’ve learned that the best way to find the woman of your life is to befriend the potential love partners that you meet in your life, until you have the capability to make a firm decision.

Being in a relationship, without clear purpose and time limit, will make it harder for you to be decisive.

If you find that you’re unable to attract the women you like, that means you need to improve yourself. But you can improve yourself without being in a relationship, actually it makes it easier, since being in a relationship (with a woman you don’t really want to get married to) may make you “lazy to improve”.

When you have attained your decisiveness, then you can decide whether a woman is good enough for you to move into serious relationship towards marriage, considering all the trade-offs (your age, her age, job, lifestyle, her potential to be snatched by other, etc.). No more gray area.

Are There (Many) Women in This World Who Can Be My “Miss Right” But That I May Never Meet?

Yes, that is why it’s important for you to make effort to improve yourself, as well as increase your chances of meeting women.

Why is improving yourself important? Because a simplistic way to say this statistically is that you need to know there are two groups of women:

  1. Single women who may like you. The more attractive you are (both physical and non-physical attributes), the more women are in this group. Any undesirable and negative attributes you have will decrease the numbers.
  2. Single women who you like (“Miss Right”). The more attributes you desire from a woman, the women in this group will be smaller.

Those “Miss Right” are women who happen to belong to both groups at once. This is important because no matter how many women that fit into your criteria, you won’t have a chance of good relationship even if you meet them unless you also meet her criteria.

So, start improving yourself. Perhaps all this time you’ve been meeting these “Miss Right” women all along, but they didn’t notice you.

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Can You Marry Someone With A Different Religion?

Can You Marry Someone With A Different Religion?

The person I love is from a different religion. She thinks it won’t work, her parents wouldn’t approve. What should I do?

This is so much more about risk than it is about her parents (and yours).

Different religion will bring risks and challenges during both of your life together, your children’s life, relationship with neighbors, society, and families.

These risks and challenges are on top of other risks and challenges you’ll face because of personality, conflicting values, economy, faithfulness, and so on.

Religion won’t be the only problem you’ll face, but you’ll wish you don’t have that problem when you have other problems piling up on you. Life isn’t a game where you can reset and replay. Life has serious permanent consequences, especially when you make a big mistake.

My Advice?

Work on improving your attractiveness. Your question is result of tunnel vision, you may feel that you’re on a tight situation, but actually you can make effort to expand your choices.

Besides, if she already feels that it won’t work, that means the only reason left why she’s still into you is because you currently don’t have another choice. But what happens if you do have a choice?

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Why Would Anyone Marry Me? I Have Many Issues

Why Would Anyone Marry Me? I Have Many Issues

Having issues do reduce your chances of getting a spouse, as there are traits men want from women (and vice versa).

While I or anyone can always pick a few anecdotes of highly unlikely marriages, I don’t think it’s wise to depend so much on luck.

On the other hand, you can also increase your chances of marriage, summed up in “only” three things to do:

  1. For those attributes you’re already good at, keep it up! For example, if you’re a good listener, see if your crush appreciates it.
  2. For those attributes you’re not so good at, make effort to improve at least some of it, gradually.
  3. For those attributes you’re terrible at, you’ll need to fix it. For example, if you’re rude and mean to (some) people, it’s time to learn how to be polite and compassionate.

While I said “only”, it’s actually a lifetime work. But you need to start now.

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Why Is A Girl Rude to You (As A Boy)

Why Is A Girl Rude to You (As A Boy)

Are Beautiful Girls Better or Worse Than Ugly Girls?

Some girls are better than others, but usually the “score” is relative to what traits that each guy wants. For example, which one do you value better: her cooking skills or academic accomplishments? Different guys will answer differently, and that goes on for other things.

But even that “scoring” is independent to how a girl looks.

Yet in the real world, a girl’s behavior is shaped by the environment and people’s behavior around her. That’s what caused what you perceive as “ugly girls behavior” versus “beautiful girls behavior” stereotypes. Rather than thinking of beautiful girls negatively, you should try to understand what triggers a girl’s good and bad behaviors. Usually it involves understanding more about her background.

As a simple example, in any given situation, it’s far more likely for a beautiful girl to get a smile, a nice greeting, an “I like you” message, a dinner invitation, up to sexual harassment, than an ugly girl. As you can imagine, a beautiful girl gets a multiply of not just the good things but also the terrible things that can happen to her. So a girl’s behavior will reflect her past experience.

You should make effort so that the good girls will treat you well (regardless of their looks), and the bad girls (again, regardless of their looks)… well I don’t think it does you any good to be near them anyway. Ask yourself: have ever mistreated a good beautiful girl just because you put them in the same camp as beautiful girls (who are “automatically” bad)?

Beautiful girls’ “bad” behavior is caused by an environment that is psychologically unhealthy. In my experience, in a healthy environment, the beautiful girls will actually be nicer than ugly ones because they’re consistently being treated positively. The ugly girls tend to be not as nice because they get less positive reactions from the people around them. Research by Jackson and Huston in 2014 mentions that “physically attractive females evidencing greater assertiveness than their less physically attractive counterparts.” It’s unfortunate, but that’s what reality gives us.

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how to tell a boy i like him without saying it

How to Tell A Boy I Like Him Without Saying It

Let’s assume it’s possible for you to see him almost regularly, perhaps because you’re both in the same school or university or workplace.

Let’s consider the alternatives. You can be just subtle but he will hardly notice you (don’t worry, he won’t think you’re a freak). You can also let him know about you, but you may not get what you want in the end: just walking up to him saying “Hi I am **** and I like you” is a way of doing this.

Actually, you can be both subtle and get to know each other over time.

I suggest you to approach and talk to him. Am I serious? Yup, but since you’re asking this question chances are that also want to know exactly how is this even possible. There a number of ways but the easiest is to use a gimmick.

An example of a gimmick can be a flyer (of a festival, exhibition, etc.). So while you’re handing out a flyer to him, you can casually ask “So what do you think of this event? Will you come? Why not? What kind of events do you prefer? Oh, really, how’s it like? Sounds cool to me too.” As a bonus, you can strike conversation with other boys too: it doesn’t hurt to expand your choices.

If you don’t have such gimmick, it can also be made out of thin air. Have a pen and paper and approach him to ask his help for your survey (from your teacher or your parents or your boss or your friend). You can ask his opinion about topics such as video games, movies, music, arts, or pretty much anything. If you run out of questions then just browse Quora. 😉

Your goal isn’t to tell him you like him but to get something going so you can begin to know each other. So, also let him know of your opinions, what’s your experience on the things he does/doesn’t like. It may or may not end with exchanging mobile number or befriend in Facebook (it’s a plus), but that doesn’t matter much at this point.

Ok so that’s for the first time. While you can do similarly for second time, you don’t have to! You can just say “Hey, you’re that guy from last time!” or maybe both of you already knew each other’s names. And of course you can smile. Then you can either start a conversation or go on with you were doing, but at least you and him are no longer strangers.

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